brokenstraw

It's been like 400 years since I last posted an entry.

It's now 2010. New Year and Christmas were okay... Nothing I enjoyed like crazy, but it wasn't completely miserable. I have gifts from friends and things...

I even have a gift from Pineapple. But before jumping to conclusions, it doesn't mean he likes me or anything... He just happened to pick my name in our gift exchange drawing lots thing. It was so lucky though, so thanks God.

But at some points, I almost wish that he hadn't drawn my name... I mean, yeah, it's great. I actually received a gift from the guy I like. Woopee. But the week when he gave it to me, he was focusing on me, and he was acting bashful and very sensitive when I'm around. He even said goodbye when I was going home. I was seriously confused with the way he was acting. (Felt like he was more excited to give his gift to me)... It was very confusing...

But when he gave it, the next week, we lost EVERY form of contact. I mean, before, at least once or twice a week, he would say something to me, like borrowing stuffs and all that.
Right now, it feels very...dreary and dead. He is ignoring me! And I don't know why... I mean just last week he was talking to me like it was a normal phenomenon and now he's not even making eye contact! What is he trying to out here???

Not that I should even care about that anymore.
After he and his crush talked beside me, without even acknowledging my existence... I decided to just cut this crap and not care about him at all.

Besides, I have that cute nerdy Reuven of mine. SO LONG PINEY PERSON!!!

Besides that, my report card is depressing. I have two C's... And I don't get two C's... I get B's and A's... NOT C's!!! Oh well. It was depressing, I've been depressed, and now I want to change that.

I will change EVERYTHING.

Aaaahhh~ I'm so depressed.

TT^TT I may have made a fool of myself today. I really hope not. Why oh why did I have to know such a cruel, cold truth?! But I'd really rather know than make an even deeper fool of myself...

My life sucks. I hate this. Curse it all. WHy me? (I am being very hysterically comedic right now, despite the situation.)

On the bright side, the little mishap I had with a friend is fixed. I explained myself and was understood (I think?). So yeah, I'm happy about that...

But I really can't focus on anything knowing that I made a fool of myself like that. Oh gosh. What an idiot I am. What a serious loon bin. I must be crazy to even start believing for positive stuff out of those hooligans. What was I thinking? Somebody straight-jacket me away and lock me up forever!!!

But this isn't the end of the world. They will forget, I'm sure. They will...right? Hopefully, HOPEFULLY they do. I deserve this though. Oh, I know I deserve this! It's just, it hurts and things and...dammit. I deserve this. If I didn't then I won't just sit here, looking at thin air and breathing like sponges. Nope. Nope, I won't.

At least Iceland and Lichtenstein exist to make me smile. Just a small smile.

Make me forget about it!! Make me sleep and wake up knowing it's all just a bad dream! I've never felt so depressed. I mean, even that loon trip I had during summer was MUCH better than this kind of depression... How sad. I've never really wanted to repeat a day until now.

Take me back to this morning!!!!

TT^TT

Hello.

I am trying to be independent and neat. Recently, I have been too dependent on the people around me and even they aren't that dependable. This is probably why my life is so screwed up. I have noticed that everyone's selfish. I, too, am selfish, of course, I'm not perfect. I want to help others but I don't want to be completely altruistic. I'll end up being a push over. I'm already a push over, by the way.

I hate school. Please, March, come sooner!

I already took an exam at this college. Yes. I have no other alternative other than IT game design. I'm a bit nervous... I don't want to have geeks as classmates, so I hope they're somehow normal. PLEASE! By all means.

On a brighter note, I want to go to Iceland. Rather, I want to live in Iceland. It could be Norway, but I'd rather Iceland. It's so peaceful and pure there. I really want to multiply and settle and spread my GENES there. I'd rather it be there, than here. I mean, I'd be doing my kids a favour (If I will have kids)...

I've got a lot of random ideas for stories. That one shot I said before is totally forgotten. Maybe if I feel like it, I'll end it and post it on FP. I'm writing this other one, which is purely for fun(I have no intentions of posting it anytime sooner). I write whatever there, and it's really amusing. I also have this one psychology-related story in my head. Maybe I'll write it sometime in the future, since I have a lot in my head. Plus, I still have 12 chapters + to go in WNMF.

Wish me luck!

~ Lady Elizabeth (Not really working out well, by the way.)

Seven weeks.

I haven't written a thing in here for seven weeks. Wow. That's a whole new record, huh?
I honestly thought I'd be leaving this whole blogging thing for real. It eats up time, you know? So I have no idea what drove me back. It's probably because of the fact that I want to say something but I have no way of saying it in a completely understandable manner. I pour it all out on LJ --> my weirdness. I feel like an abuser, somehow.

But that's what LJ's for, riight?

In literature, I am currently trying to finish chapter nineteen of When Nuts Meet Fruity. That's a little hard to do, with school and all. ANd also, I'm so often not in the mood for writing. BUT, I managed to write out this one shot I'm planning to post on FP some time soon... Except, I came to the middle and I'm kinda stuck there. I somehow know how it'll end, I just don't know how to fill up the gap. That's what I hate in story-writing. Other than that, Me and Lorena are planning on typing out this story about murder and gayness. In short, it's an awesome idea and dammit my jacket is annoying meE!

We had this sort-of-one-week-but-not vacation from school. The intramurals are over, thank goodness. I didn't even compete, I just sawm for fun (and for escaping reasons). So school gets back again on Wednesday, which is, like, 2 days from now. AAGGGRAGAGRAGAR! Two days from now and I haven't done any homework and/or projects!!! Greeeaaattt....
Pineapple... I'm trying to ignore him. I think he's ignoring me, too. Good, we have an understanding. I don't want to say much on the matter. A lot happened, and I don't exactly plan on killing my fingers just to type them all out for...nobody.

That's a little sad.

And my conclusion? Push through with mission LADY. It seems as though it is the only rational mission out there. And it's also about time for me to become one, anyway. I want to grow up and mature a little. Being childish isn't working out on me. Playing dumb won't save my butt anymore too. I'm in the right age and mind to think, anyway. I have to practice it. And I've decided to take up IT in Game Design in college (Oh wow! How mature!). After the four years of Game Design madness, I (and possibly Lorena) will take up Fine Arts just because I want to. I've been very interested in it for a LONG time. I want to have fun too, and if Arts will make me happy, then Arts it is. It will probably be my own money anyway, when I go to college again.

~ Lady Elizabeth

OMIGAWSH.

I am, like, so addicted to the spainxromano-ness of everything. they're just totally cute together. and agh. the bad friend trio is a win. just, total hotness, ya know? sooo cuuuute. and yeah, england and little america isn't so bad. i just don't like the big america. he's so snobby and cruel and bratty and he doesn't even listen. ah well, england is cuuute. romanoxspain in the couch is super win!!! hmmm... i'm suddenly craving for tomatoes.

but nothing can beat the bullfighter costume. so tight. so sexy.

ahhh~ romano is surrounded by carefree idiots who are cute. what a lucky bastard he is.

I can't get over the bad friend trio madness though. those three together is perfection. Prussia and Spain are total hunks.

France still creeps me out though.

Prussia with he demon-like eyes. Spain with his minty-green eyes. and France with his ice-blue eyes. *faints*

The Sweden-Finland-Iceland-Denmark-Norway troop is a delight to see too, of course. But GAHH! England and Spain pirates :Q!!!

For some unknown reasons I hate the china troop. The Russia troop is okay; polandxlithuania is growing on me... Russia is okay individually... Sealand is annoying. GermanyxItaly is okay too... I don't see anything to like with Greece or Turkey... Swiss & Liech are cute! ^_^

But France is still creepy.


~ Lizzy

soooo it's been about two weeks and more...

hm. it's a little funny how it felt like those two weeks passed by like air. yet while i was in the two weeks, it felt like hell...

ah well! :D

anyways, it's already our second departmental test. Time flies so fast... =u=... well the test was a while ago and yesterday, so technically the dt is over.

gosh. i've only not been writing for two weeks and my fingers already screw up in typing? how suckish.

in those two weeks of no internet or computer though, i spent the time reading. and i'm not really the bookish type of girl, even though i like to write. i only started reading, like, recently. that explains my really crappy stories. :P

so yeah, i've been obsessing over the world war two lately. apparently i find spain rather sexy. also italy. and england. always england...

and yeah, bullfighters and pirates are becoming interesting too...

who knew that there are so many interesting stuff on earth?

...

pineapple is... getting troublesome. troublesome for me that is. i'm trying to not like him and it's going quite gorgeously, but when he talks to me, or acknowledge me, or merely look my way... i guess i can't deny that i still like him.

plus, he touched my hair and said it was soft. how could i not like him when he's like that?

but it just gets depressing when i think. and whether or not i think too much or hope stuff... i know the ugly truth.

shiiit. that freaky elephant by the side thing is freaking me out.

....

=u= i'm feeling kinda loopy.

My hands feel sticky and colorful.

Yet I like them...
I was painting our tower thing project for Trigonometry. It was a big tower made by Hannah, and I enjoyed painting it. I'm done now, but it's still wet, and I made a big mess in the sink. My mother is mad at me because of the sink. I got mad at me because of the sink. My mother got mad at me for not listening to her when she told me that I should wear gloves so that my hands would remain clean. I didn't get mad at myself. Yeah, right. I've got a big pride (One I'm ashamed of) and I chose to not wear gloves so shut your trap!

School hasn't been all too well. I mean, I guess I'm progressing with that 'change' and 'new me' stuff. But the world just really hates me... Bad stuff happen, but I guess their my fault too cause I'm pigeonlingly lazy. I even almost fell asleep during Economics. And, ugh, I'm starting to hate math more and more.

Random shit:
I'm reading Identity Disturbances again! :D... You could tell that cause I'm so depressed right now, and my vocabulary is... lower than normal.

I joined a drama, skit thing at school. Meaning, I'd be appearing on stage, performing for everyone. Ooh. Wish me luck.

I'm kinda missing the telly. I haven't been watching for a while.

Mother is annoying. >:(

WELL. Tahtah! I need to go do something I don't know, so catch you later.

tsk tsk.

~ LIZZY

'Sup?

It has been a while since my last post. How have I been doing?

Let's see....

The periodical exams are over. I am dead at both Physics and Economics.... But really, no surprises there. I did not study in Economics anyway... Really, I didn't open the book. AT ALL. Or my notebook. I am really, really dead. I don't even want to see my score... I don't want to go to school this Monday. I REALLY REALLY don't. Math was also hard, I didn't even manage to finish the test. TT^TT... I'm obviously not going to be the highest anymore... TT^TT

WELL. This week, I also decided that I need to be a lady. I need to grow up, so... I'll at least try. I also need my academic butt lifted from it's seat, because I'm sooo lazy. Really, I'm rusting.

Also, I got to wear that cocktail dress yester-night. It was Mariel's debut! She looked SO pretty! Like a princess! She was supreme. And her brother was not ugly, like, really not ugly. Also his friend, but his friend was hitting on Diane. Too bad he was 19 and Diane was 14.

We also had our annual picture taking yesterday! It was for the yearbook. I had to put make-up on at school... And, well, I'm a simple girl, so make-up on me was rare. But Pineapple was absent (On an exam day? sheesh!) so he didn't get to see me. :(((
Hannah looked pretty, of course. With or without make-up she's gorgeous. And Lorena looked really cute! I told her she was, but she wouldn't believe me. (Humble?)

Pineapple moments are on hold. Meaning, nothing new is really happening. So, oh well. Oh yeah, we'll be changing seating arrangements! I HOPE, HOPE, HOPE and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY that I could be seated beside Pineapple!!! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!

I was seated beside him during first year, but that was then... So... Hopefully I could be seated beside him. PLEASE!

That would be all for now. TATAH!

~ Lizzy

A letter for my self, and a photograph of me, family and friends. I'd also put drawings so that I could see how much I've improved in fifty years. And, maybe, something important... Like my father's letter or something.

I am suddenly interested in Vincent Willem van Gogh.

He is an interesting person. An artist of such talent.
I wish I could be as good as him in art. But I hope my life turns out better.

So I've been trying to finish chapter fourteen of When Nuts Meet Fruity. It's a hard thing; to write. It makes me think to that point that my brain is unstable. It's very hard. Speaking of literature, Apples finally updated! It was about halloween and Cade's cuteness. I'm getting real excited about the whole Halloween thing, I can't wait to know what Dodger has planned. But, really? I prefer Kiwi Mango's OCD-ness of the fiction. It will turn out much better if she's OCD. She should be OCD.

School. Always a drag.  We've exams this week. Bummer. Pineapple is being nice these days... I hope he continues being nice. It's so much easier when he's being nice. But of course, he's still an arse. But in a good way this time. We had some sort of a nutrition event... He sat right behind me. I was really happy. But I couldn't do aerobics. Not with him right behind me. Good thing he and the boys went away when it's aerobics time. The games were exciting. This was a nice week... If only I didn't commit any sin.

Lewis Carrol has been interesting this night as well. Did you know he stuttered?

By the way, I got invited to Irene's friend's 18th birthday (It's some sort of sweet sixteen). Were going out to buy dresses tomorrow. I want a cocktail dress. I have a dilema though... How am I supposed to go to church then?
I hope the party is nice. I hope Erika comes. I hope I get a cocktail dress.

Chapter fourteen of When Nuts Meet Fruity is turning out to have too much drama. Is it reflecting how I feel? Why are there no happy moments? Am I sad?

I should study.

~ Lizzy